Confessions Of A Scrapaholic

Zoë and the Disappearing Toilet Paper

Zoë is really good about her nap time. 95% of the time she sleeps, the other 5% she plays with her toys, but regardless she knows that she needs to stay in her room until 3pm. I was a bit surprised when at 2pm Becky brought Miss Zoë downstairs to visit me in the office. Why? Apparently Zoë had a bloody nose during nap time (so she says) and decided that she should stick a wad of toilet paper up her nose. It was pretty far up but I could still see it when I looked with a flashlight. Becky tried to get Zoë to blow it out of her nose and also tried to remove it with tweezers but Zoë would have none of that. I tried to give it a go and  calmly explained to Zoë that the tweezers wouldn't hurt her and that it was very important that we get the toilet paper out of her nose. I even demonstrated on myself. She would have none of it. More specifically, she completely freaked out  sucked the toilet paper into her sinuses. She spent the rest of her nap time hiding under the covers in her room after she informed me that, "I don't like your idea!"  Lovely.

I called the doctor's office while Zoë finished up her nap and the nurse told me to use a bulb syringe to blow air up into the non-clogged nostril in the hopes that it would shoot the wad out the other side. We triend that. It was a no-go. Next up, a few drops of warm water in the nostril to soften the toilet paper then repeat the bulb syringe. Again, nothing. The nurse said that worse case, the toilet paper would dissolve slowly and come out on it's own. It looked like that was what was going to happen because Zoë was completely uncooperative. She kept running around the house with her hands over her nose saying, "I don't like your idea!"

Then Kelly came home.

I explained to him what his daughter had done. He sat her on his lap and explained the fine art of snot rocketing. He had her plug the un-clogged nostril, shut her mouth and blow really hard. Out shot the toilet paper like, well, a rocket. She immediately got a huge smile on her face and said, "That is so much better! Are you so proud of me? See Mommy, I like Daddy's idea better. Not your idea."

Thanks, Zoë.

I never thought I would be so happy about Kelly's gross boy skills. I would like to say that Kelly doesn't actually shoot snot rockets out his nose. It's just a gross boy skill like making farting noises with your arm pits... Zoë has since been told that she is not to stick anything up her nose. You would think that would go without saying, right?

Merry Christmas!

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your family. Ours was really a mixed bag. Christmas is always an exciting day especially with little ones. Some of my favorite quotes for the day...

"Mommy, Santa is awesome." -Zoë

"I can't remember the last time I opened a gift and actually giggled." -Kelly
(After he opened his new Cutco knives. I did good.)

"Squeal!" -Eden (While playing in her new activity center)

"Thank you! It's just what I wanted!" -Zoë (After opening every gift)

Now the mixed part. Zoë is really sick. We thought she had croup yesterday but the cough has moved down to her chest. Add to that a 100.9 fever after Tylenol and Motrin and you have yourself a good time. Add to that a baby who is teething and catching her sister's cold and you have a really good time. Hopefully Zoë's fever will break tomorrow and Eden's tooth will break through. Fingers crossed!

Oh hey, before I forget. We never lost power during the storm. Not even for five minutes. And I was so prepared. Of course that is why the power never went out. Two years ago when we were completely unprepared it was out for almost three days. Now that I have an emergency bin and everything we could possibly need, zip! We've got lots of snow though. Lots and lots of snow. So much snow that Kelly decided to buy a flame thrower to melt it. Oh yeah, I said flame thrower. Only my husband...

The Calm Before the Storm

We are preparing for the latest winter storm to blow through Seattle tonight. They are predicting 50-70 mile and hour winds with up to 90 mile an hour gusts. Then more snow. Then ice. Sweet. When this happened two years ago (almost to the day) we were out of power in Bellevue for two days. In Redmond (where we are now) they were out for a week. We are hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

Kelly bought a generator in Ellensburg on his way back from Spokane the other day, and our neighbors lent us their spare gas can (so now we have two filled and ready for the generator.) I've got to say, I am pretty impressed with us at the moment. We most definitely learned our lesson after last time. So far we have:

• Stocked up on groceries
• Filled the gas tanks in both cars and two spare cans (the gas stations are already out in most places around Redmond)
• Charged our extra battery back-ups to plug assorted electronics into
• Replaced the batteries in all our flashlights
• Cranked up the heat in the house so that when the power does go out it will be warm for a bit longer
• Loaded Wall-E and games onto the iPod Touch for Zoë
• Charged our laptops
• Found our emergency bin and verified contents

Now we wait. The wind is starting to pick up a bit and all the snow that fell a few days ago is starting to blow around. This should be fun. Last time we lost power our cell phones didn't get any reception b/c the towers were down. If you need to get a hold of us please send an email. We of course have our wireless cards. (It is us after all, come on.) We also have a gas range this time (awesome) so we can actually cook and make hot water for coffee. Whoo!

I will make sure and post updates on the blog. Stay safe everyone!

The Snowless Snow Day

Zoë's Christmas vacation started early this year, on Wednesday specifically. The weather men had been predicting snow since last Friday and it finally hit yesterday, but that didn't stop 99% of the school districts to cancel school on Wednesday. We got the call at 6:15am on Wednesday morning. I peeked out the window and saw nothing. Zip. Not even a trace of snow. Odd. I assumed that it must be coming any moment, but no. We waited all day and didn't get a single flake. Zoë had a snow day with no snow. How lame is that? Meanwhile, Kelly was in Spokane at the time where they were being hammered on. They got TWO FEET of snow while he was there. (I knew there was a reason we moved away...)

So yesterday the storm hit. It was complete chaos in the Seattle area. Freeways at a stand still, or closed. Accidents everywhere. Cities telling people not to leave their homes. Chaos. We actully got SEVEN inches at our house which is almost unheard of. And guess who was driving home from Spokane during all of this? Kelly. Of course. He said, "I am getting the hell out of here before more snow comes." As much as I didn't like him driving in that, he had a point. Thankfully he made it home safely last night around 9:30pm. And do you know what my sweet husband said to me when he got home? "I hate my truck. At even the slightest hint of slipping it starts beeping and automatically corrects so that you can stop immediately. I can't fish tail at all. Stupid truck." Nice.

Now we are bracing ourselves for 60+ mile an hour winds and freezing rain. Whooo! Good times, I tell ya. On the plus side, we are pretty much guaranteed a white Christmas this year. You can't say that most of the time in Seattle. Kelly bought a generator for us yesterday when he stopped to buy shovels before heading into the mountain pass, so at least we will be able to stay warm if the power goes out. (And power the laptops, who am I kidding.)

I did get one layout finished up the other day. It has been sitting on my laptop 98% done for weeks. Does that happen to anyone else? You will recognize the template, I just can't seem to stop using it. As far as I am concerned it is the perfect design. Love it. Look how little Zoë is! Awwww.

Click HERE for credits.

Holiday Wallpaper for your iPhone

Today was my turn to post on Heather Ann's Holiday Inspiration site. If you haven't been checking the site regularly, make sure you do. The design team has come up with some gorgeous holiday projects.

My inspiration of choice today? Decorating my iPhone. I've decorated everything else for the holidays, why not my phone, right? I look at it about 100x a day, it might was well be festive. So what do you think? Every time I look at it I feel all Christmas-y and happy (and I get to see my girls.) Stop on by the inspiration site to download your free wallpapers. There are three to choose from, and don't worry, I posted instructions as well.

Have a good weekend!

Notes From the Teacher...

I have decided to merge our many family blogs into one...this one. (I am the one who does the posting after all, so mine stays. Ha!) I used to post family/kid posts on the family blog and Zoë tidbits on her blog, but I just don't have time for that anymore. Everything is now going to reside here. You have been warned. LOL!

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Each week Zoë's teacher, Stephen, sends an email to the parents letting them know what has been going on in class. (Very handy since Zoë tells me basically zip.) Here is today's email:

We had Vicky Edmonds and Julie Bergevin help us write poems on Tuesday. This year and last year they have spent an hour talking about what poetry is and then lead individuals in making poems using some prompts. The images the children generate are often moving and creative. They will be collected (you can keep the original that came home yesterday) and used in some context in the auction. (I will scan and post the poem soon.)

We read a couple of books last week and this week about tomtens , which are little Scandanavian elf-like creatures that look after the farm during cold nights, and are never seen by people (though their tracks in the snow are proof they were there). It led to a discussion of pretend and real, with many perspectives, and some contradictory. As one child said, “They’re not real. They’re not.” I asked how she knew. “Cause when they come into my room while I’m sleeping they look at my face and when I wake up they jump up, and they don’t really have feet. They freak me out.” Understandably. But it begs the question of how fours distinguish between pretend and real. We have been discussing this, now with the aid of a chart, and I emphasized at the beginning that we would not all think the same thing, and that I was GLAD we didn’t all think the same thing. Tolerance of other perspectives is what I promote. And so the conversation is rich and diverse and consistency is not highly valued, as it will be by age six or seven. This is an especially vivid topic at this time of year, what with all the flying reindeer (real—“I saw it in a book”).

As soon as I read, "It freaked me out." I was 99% sure that Stephen was talking about Zoë in his note, so I sent him an email to see if I was right. He replied, "Yes, you are correct. Zoe’s comments are a deep and valuable source of amusement to me. I hate it when she’s absent. She just told Nancy, “Oops, my bad.” (Nancy is the librarian.)

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And now for Miss Eden. Hehehe. (I warned you!) She turned three months old yesterday. THREE MONTHS! I can't believe it. I know I keep saying this but she is just as sweet as can be. She smiles and gurgles all the time and has started squealing when she is really happy. Oh.my.cuteness. We seem to have the gas/acid reflux under control. Not better, just managed by medication. Her pediatrician upped the dosage of Zantac yesterday and that seems to have stopped the increasing spit-up. (Good times.) Eden absolutely LOVES her Daddy. We were all snuggling in bed last weekend watching cartoons. I was holding Eden and she was lunging for her Daddy with her legs. She was doing everything she could to get to him. Kelly has some sort of magic baby power. He rocks her in the recliner and she goes right to sleep. I try the exact same thing and it never works. What gives? Like I said, magic baby powers. Eden is now in 3-6 months clothes, which means that I can now coordinate hers and Zoë's outfits. I am in Mommy heaven. I weighed her this morning and she is 12.8 lbs. What else? We thought we would give her some formula especially for gassy and fussy babies. (Being dosed with Mylecon and Zantac all day every day can't be good.) The formula was a no-go. She broke into a rash over her entire body. Needless to say, the formula went directly into the garbage. Oh, here is one more fun little tidbit. Eden sucks her knuckles, not her fingers, the knuckle of her pointer finger (on both hands.) Funny kid. It is all red and rough looking. Her pediatrician recommended putting non-flavored Crisco on her hands to coat the irritated area. I never thought I would hear that from a doctor. LOL!

And with that I am off to bed. Peace out.

Christmas Gift Do's and Don'ts

I have some great Christmas gift ideas I wanted to share, some good and some bad.

First up, gift cards. Some may think they are thoughtless gifts, but I disagree! I love receiving gift cards (especially for digital scrapbooking-hehehe.) One of the main fundraisers at Zoë's school each year is a gift card drive. The school gets a percentage of every gift card sold (the amount varies by store.) It is a win-win really. Since we live apart from most of our family we took advantage of the gift cards this year. They are so much easier to send than huge packages. Best let our loved ones choose gifts they will really like. The school really was brilliant though, they pointed out that you don't need to buy gift cards just as gifts. You can buy gift cards for regular purchases you make that way you are still supporting the school. Everyone needs groceries, right? Buy the gift card and use it for your groceries. Same with gas. How cool is that? So, anybody out there reading my blog that is on the PTA...definitely recommend this for your school. This is so much better than selling chocolate Santa's. (Did anybody else have to do that when they were in elementary school?)

Next up, a Keurig coffee maker. It will transform your world. Kelly bought one for his office and then decided that we needed one at home. My first thought was, "Really? You seriously want to buy that for our home? Isn't that more of an office type thing? We are fully capable of making a pot of coffee..." But no. It is awesome. No more pots of day old coffee. Or cold coffee because the blasted coffee pot turned off. My favorite part? I don't have to look longingly at Kelly's caffeinated cup of heaven. I can make decaf and pretend that it is caffeinated. *sniff* Eden better appreciate my sacrifice,dangit. It also makes tea, hot cocoa...you name it. It rocks. They carry them at Costco.

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Now for the bad. Well not a bad thought necessarily, just bad implementation. My friend Heather forwarded this email to me and I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face. I have no idea if this is actually true. I think it might actually be. Poor dumb SOB.

Pocket Taser Stun Gun

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.

Nothing! I was disappointed.

I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.

But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.

I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and ... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD ... WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION ... WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-B*TCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.  The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.  My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I poo'd myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.'

Oh Yeah, Baby! Look What I Found....

Sing it with me. You know you want to. "We are the world. We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving."

Now back to the photos. I promised Thanksgiving photos are here they are. There aren't many because I thought I would try to capture candid photos this year instead of making people pose.

I learned two things. One: I suck at taking candid photos. Two: I need to stop fiddling with the settings on my camera until I actually know what I am doing, especially in low light. I have all the handouts from the Photography 101 class I signed up for last summer and have yet to read a single page. I really want to improve my photography skills, it's just one of those things I never think to do when I actually have some quiet time. Why is that? I digress. The pictures...

My Uncle Mark & Aunt Anna were kind enough to host Thanksgiving at their beautiful new home on Liberty Lake. Let me tell you, they know how to host a party. I have honestly not had that much fun at a family function since my Grandma was alive. It was perfect.

Zoë and Harry could not wait to see each other. Mark told me that Harry kept saying, "Zoë is going to be here any minute!" So cute.

For the kids, the best part of Thanksgiving was the jetted tub. As the night was winding down the kids decided they wanted to take a bath. My SIL Janice put in a few drops of body wash into the tub and look what happened! Now those are some bubbles. They lasted for the entire bath (45 minutes) thanks to the jets.

And a shot of the family paparazzi. That would be me and my Aunt Mary. We are the ones constantly asking people to smile and pose for the camera. I swear, if it weren't for us there would be no photographic evidence of our family at all. LOL!

See, I told you there weren't many photos. I have a couple others but they are mediocre at best. Thankfully, Aunt Mary is sending me a CD with the photos she took so that I actually have something to scrapbook.

Christmas Awesomeness (I'm sure that's a word)

Look what I found on Cathy's blog this morning!!! The Feed the World video! This is one of my very favorite Christmas songs. I had no idea there was a video. Look at all that hair! This makes my whole day happy. Enjoy!

Good stuff. I didn't realize it was such an old song! Now I must go look for a "We Are the World" video on You-Tube. That song always reminds me of Christmas time when I was in Kindergarten. The song came out the same time that my horribly mean mother took my blankey away and told me that she gave it to the starving children in Ethiopia. I won't lie. I was really pissed at the Ethiopian children. Thankfully, my awesome little brother found my blankey stashed in the back of a closet and returned it to me. Hmph! (I still have it. It is in my closet for safe keeping.)

I will be back with Thanksgiving pictures soon. I have to go pick up my new area rug and throw pillows before Miss Zoë gets home from school. After three days of a fever, she is finally well and went to school today. Woo Hoo!!!

Blessed

We had a wonderfully busy and family filled holiday weekend in Spokane. Instead of posting about our entire five day trip I am going to focus on the two big events: Eden's blessing and Thanksgiving.

Eden's blessing was perfect. Kelly's Great Uncle Bill performed the ceremony for us at his church. We held the blessing in Spokane since 95% of our family is there. It made much more sense to have the ceremony while we were visiting instead of asking everyone to drive to Seattle, you know? The blessing was simple and perfect. Bill did an amazing job. (Much better than the paster/belly dancer who performed Zoë's blessing a few years back.... don't ask.) Here are some of my favorite photos from the blessing.

Kelly's Great Aunt Doddie & Uncle Bill. They are the kindest, sweetest people on earth. Seriously. I have never met nicer people.

Me and my sweet baby. Awwwwww.

Contrary to the photographic evidence, we are actually a family of four, but Zoë could not be torn away from all her cousins. She was in heaven. She had Brodie AND Harry AND Sylas AND Charlee to play with. It was a good day.

One of my new favorite pictures. Look at all those little cuties! Cousins, cousins, everywhere!

Some family photos.... You can just see the Grandma's Christmas cards, can't you? Yes, I will be making those too. I'm handy like that. ;)

OK, so I lied. It looks like I am just going to get the blessing photos posted. My laptop is just about dead and I should probably go to bed. Both the girls are sick right now and I have a feeling it is going to be a long night. Send me caffeinated thoughts. :)